John Henry Newman: His Inner Life (A Review)

John Henry Newman: His Inner Life: A Review

            John Henry Newman was born on February 21, 1801, to John Newman and Jemima Fourdrinier. He was born in a middle-class family that lived in the center of London. John’s ancestors were farmers, but his father decided to move into the city for better opportunities. John Henry was the oldest of six children in his family, three boys and three girls. He was fond of his grandmother who showed him great affection, and showed him what it was like to have a religious mindset. The children in the Newman house grew up happy, and in want of nothing. John’s mother was a simple woman who had a profound trust in the providence of God, but could be anxious at times. She was not without trials in her life. Her youngest daughter died before her twentieth year. Her son Charles was said to be a “burden” until the time of his death. Her son Frank had “wild plans” that caused his mother great distress.¹ John’s father was of a different character. He suffered through great financial distress, but held on to his faith in God. He had a worldlier attitude than his wife, but overall could still be considered a religious man. ²

            When John was seven years old, he was sent to private school in Ealing. This caused his mother much distress. John did not have an appreciation for sports, but was more of an intellectual sort. He enjoyed playing the violin, dancing, billiards, and enjoyed holidays. He often kept a diary of his inner thoughts from a very young age. At the age of nine he wrote: “He is wise who curbs his passions.” ³ During his teen years, according to John himself, he began to live a life of sin apart from the religious ideals of his childhood. Described as the darkest period of his life, his final years at Ealing were spent in ideas that were contradictory to the Christianity he was so fond of. He wrote that he put his hand up in the face of Christ, as if to tell Christ “no.” “Turn back in memory, and recollect the time, the day, the hour, when by willful mortal sin, by scoffing at sacred things, or by profaneness, or by dark hatred of this Thy Brother, or by acts of impurity, or by deliberate rejection of Gods’ voice . . .” ⁴ As one can see, John Henry was not proud of what he fell into during the teen years of his life, however, he would soon turn his life around. Newman would come back to his Anglican faith with a great fervor, for as he put it, “God’s love took me captive.” ⁵

            In 1843 Newman began to feel differently about the Catholic Church. At this point, he did not yet feel a call to become a member of the Church, but he did publicly renounce all of the negative things that he had said and written about the Church. “It was a solemn act of reparation and self-humiliation, in obedience to his conscience . . .” ⁶ As time progressed, Newman began to question whether it was possible that the Catholic Church was indeed the Church of the Apostles. In a final stroke of grace, William Lockhart, a young student in Newman’s community, joined the Catholic Church, and this put Newman over the edge. He could no longer hold back his love for the Church of Rome. His siblings were not in support of his becoming a Catholic, especially his sister Jemima. ⁷

            Newman would continue to be plagued by the regrets of his sinful past, despite his new found calling to the Church. He struggled to stay focused in prayer and would spend significant amounts of time dwelling on his venial sins. He struggled with impatience, rudeness, and impetuosity. He considered his main faults to be his over indulgence of his appetite, a self-conceited attitude, and a wandering mind in prayer. However, he also had a profound confidence in the goodness of God. He would beg Christ to make of him what Christ desired, handing over his health, talents, friendships, and reason, asking the Lord to be merciful. ⁸

            Newman was ordained a Catholic priest on May 30, 1847. At the time, he was actually under great internal distress. He did not write much about his ordination as he did about other aspects of his life. Newman wrote in the notes of a retreat that he was afraid of the priesthood. He was filled with regret that his devotion did not exhibit greater fervor, and was often pulled into desires of his past. He did not desire wealth or fame, but did not have an appreciation for poverty or suffering either. Newman desired to live more devout life, but was overwhelmed by the number of devotions now available to him within the Church. He complained of a loss of trust in the will of God and was doubtful of his own interior motives. He prepared for Mass with great intensity, sometimes for hours in the chapel before Mass began. ⁹ The remainder of Newman’s life can be summed up in a similar way. While there was much interior anguish, there were also many blessings in Newman’s life.

            Newman would often reflect upon the fact that he must die one day. Life, he said, always appeared as a sort of dream, yet he considered death to be an awakening. Newman was the sort of man that was often concerned about his health, and often believed death to be near throughout his life. Newman would lose his best friend when he was the age of seventy-four, Fr. Ambrose St. John. It is said that this loss brought him much grief for the remainder of his life. They had lived together under the same roof for thirty-two years, so it is no wonder that Newman was grief stricken. ¹⁰ Newman would continue to slowly deteriorate for several years after this point. He would finally pass away after much suffering on August 11, 1890. ¹¹

            There is so much more that could be said of Newman’s inner life. If you are fond of Newman, I would urge you to read the final chapter in this book, “The Soul of Newman.” It offers profound insight into Newman’s emotions, sensitiveness, and interior imperfections, that he was acutely aware of throughout his life.

Footnotes:

¹ Zeno, John Henry Newman: His Inner Life (San Francisco: Ignatius, 1987), 10-12.

² Zeno, John Henry Newman, 12.

³ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 17.

⁴ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 18.

⁵ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 21.

⁶ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 100.

⁷ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 104.

⁸ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 108-109.

⁹ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 127.

¹⁰ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 130-135.

¹¹ Zeno, John Henry Newman, 250.